Can a mother forget her child after she puts him or her up for adoption?

my dad died and once again my world came to a CRASHING FLIP

I found out my birth mothers name and the search was on

she burned to death

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

I knew it might cost me finding my birth family but my parents happiness was ore than breaking my dads heart

strange yes

after thirty four years I found out that I was adopted

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the only problem was I never knew why

my dad died it was this couples wedding anniversary

all even years in fact when my world was turned upside own TWICE

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I had kept my promise not to tell my dad I knew but now he was gone I could freely look

I was closer to him in the last three months that he was still with us than I had ever been in the previous 34 years

sadly just got the bad news that my other half brother passed away last month

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the next day I was fine again

I’m too scared to even contemplate if there is another connection there

It fell off the trolly and instead of it been put back on the trolly it was put on the shelf judt as my application to look for my parents csmecinn

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he threw the teddy bear away the day I got married

it was our wedding anniversary and her mom was dying of emphazima and doctor had said it was hours not weeks or months that she woukd go so we were stressing she would go on our wedding aniversary

nothing could ruin the day except foe one thing

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moulding my own thoughts into the story maybe

the shock was so great I had a complete breakdown

the letter wasn’t from my mom but there was a letter from the matron from the home where I spent my first year after I was born saying that I was taking the teddy bear to my new home from my birth father

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my had was spinning

I did nit know what to do with myself

my father in law died on the mothers parents anniversary

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but it was the manner my mom died that gives me pause for thought

I found out that I had been adopted at age one and that I had two half brothers thirteen and fourteen years older than me

I some what think her last thoughts as her final moments were reached shecwascthinkingbof me and of the son she had given up all those years before

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however because my parents had been so good to me I resolved two things

my dad hated that teddy bear and we never knew why

I was depressed

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two - I would not look for my birth family until my dad was gone

Well I leave that for your to decide

one one fine day the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, it as a beautiful day

strange as it may seem the day before Anne’s mom died my wife had a dream about Anne’s mom coming to her with a letter asking for forgiveness spabdvthat my wife go look for the son she gave up for adoption all those years before

the years past by quickly

I found out that my birth mom had died eleven years before but the rest of the family apart from my dads side had been waiting 25 years to connect with me

my file was been transferred from the archives to the computers to enter all the information about children and birth parents that wanted to reunite

but here is the clincher

the one man I trusted and looked upto very brutally told me I was adopted

I talk from experience here

my youngest daughter was born on the mothers birthday

A slip up by my aunt and the world I knew came crashing down

there were several others that sort of beggar belief

She died the next day and her death led to me connecting with my birth family when the death notice for Anne’s mom appeared just above the only two death notices for my half brother

I was Morose

the shocker came when I found out that the same day my mom died was the same day I had been so distraught

banging my head agaists the wall was a very viable option

I never suspected anything

We shared birthdays and deaths together with another couple

I was crying

this was not the first strange co incidence

the search for your origions had just opened up so even if I had known before hand I would not have been able to look

one - I would not tell my dad I knew (my mom had passed away four years before

when did he die lthecsameceay thst Anne’s mom died

co incidence's ???

the whole day I was in a state

to this day I regard this man as the scum of the earth for the way he had broken the news of my adoption

a very strange experience

however nothing came of it and four years later I finally succeeded in connecting with my birth family

personally I think my mom did regret giving me up and always wondered what happened to me